Top 5 Question Women of Color Get asked out of Ignorance and Disrepect

20 Mar

1. Is that your real hair? Is that all yours?

Is-That-Your-Real-Hair YES!YES!YES! The idea that a woman of color, a black woman in particular could have natural, untouched by chemicals hair is outside of the norm for many people, but I am here to tell you YES! It is my real hair, her real hair, our real hair. Furthermore, rather than doubting whether or not “it’s really theirs” whenever you see a black woman with long hair, assume it’s hers first. Innocent until proven guilty!

sim hair2.Why areyour hips so big?/ How is your butt so big?

“OH MY GOD BECKY, LOOK AT HER BUTT!”…need I say more? If that phrase means nothing to you, plug it in on Youtube and I am sure you will understand very quickly. The problem with this song that quickly became so popular is that it asserts that having a large backside is a terrible, awful, no good thing. Some believe, women of color, black women in particular make their behinds large. People assume every black woman must have a large, round, plump behind or something has gone terribly wrong! Some women black and non- black get injections to increase the size of their backsides. So as you can see, tackling this question sort has itself a wide range of issues and concepts going on. Often times when I was asked the question it was by a white person who for some reason couldn’t wrap their brains around the fact that having a big butt, a “fat ass”, a larger than most backside, whatever you want to call it was just natural. just born that way. All of a sudden i become the go to person for every non- black woman to consult with who needs to find a pair of jeans that can fit their wide hips because of course i must know.

Where I come from being thick, as we like to call it, is a good thing. And you can be thick with or without having a large behind, and also while being very healthy.

Brown, Thick, and she has long hair! Triple threat! ;p

Brown, Thick, and she has long hair! Triple threat! ;p

Thick and proud!

Thick and proud!

So before you ask a black woman, “why is your butt so big”? or “how did it get like that”? Consider the fact that they were just born that way, the same way you may have been born with blonde hair, blue eyes, a flat stomach, long legs, curly hair whatever!

The person who wrote this is an idiot and has no clue what it is they have written or are doing to perpetuate a negative cycle of stereotypes about black women:

3.Do you get sunburn?

The first time I was ever asked this question I honestly did not know the answer. However, immediately after I was asked it, I felt a tad umm, how should I say, out-of-place! I remember looking down at my skin and back up to the white skinned person who asked me thinking, “wow, this is awkward“. Truth is, the sun, the same way it affects a person with fair skin, causing cancer, darkening their skin etc. is the same way the sun affects a black person. Whether you choose to call it a tan, or just getting a little darker, it can happen to us to. We do not have some built-in protector under our brownness that shields us from the sun. it may be harder for you to tell when we have gotten darker, but we, just like those with fair skin, are human beings; And the sun has certain effects on human beings. Black people are not excluded from that. The assumption or thought that we are only sheds light on the idea, subconscious or fully aware, that black people are some separate group from, oh, let’s say, humans!

4.Do you taste like chocolate?

Often times I have heard this as a pick up line, but let us not get anything confused: This question is RIDICULOUS! Whether asked as a joke, a pick up line, a sincere question out of curiosity. Dont ask it, don’t even think it.

5.Why do you talk so loud? Why do you have so much attitude?

I have had this conversation multiple times, and something I constantly come back to is this: black people, black women are not innately loud, assertive and outspoken. We are not some special breed of people who know not how to whisper and come out of the womb screaming, arguing, yelling, and LOUD. Black people, black women, like any other person on this planet, we are passionate, and when we speak about something we are passionate about, other perceive it as loud. Do not make the mistake of assuming that it is in our nature to be loud and obnoxious. It doesn’t matter HOW MANY encounters you have had with a black person, a person of color in general who is loud, rude, and obnoxious. DO NOT GENERALIZE. In the same way, ALL LATINOS DO NOT SPEAK SPANISH OR UNDERSTAND IT, ALL IMMIGRANTS ARE NOT FROM MEXICO AND/ OR ILLEGAL, ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE NOT RICH AND SPOILED, ALL PEOPLES FROM THE MIDDLE EAST OR WITH TAN SKIN ARE NOT TERRORISTS, ALL GAY MEN DO NOT LIKE EVERY SINGLE MAN THEY CROSS PATHS WITH, ALL WOMEN CANNOT COOK AND DO NOT WANT TO COOK, ALL PEOPLES FROM AFRICA ARE NOT STARVING…phew! I could go on forever folks! STOP STEREOTYPING, ASSUMING, GENERALIZING. It’s insulting, and you sound like an idiot.




2 Responses to “Top 5 Question Women of Color Get asked out of Ignorance and Disrepect”

  1. Mark April 16, 2013 at 3:31 pm #

    As a reader, I think you do a powerful job here of conveying your anger and frustration, as well as your pride.

    I couldn’t make it all the way through the concluding video, it was so awful – – kind of a crystallization of everything I hate about YouTube – – as cool as it can be as a form of self-representation, it’s also a platform for idiots like Mr. Polo Shirt here.


  1. So, You Mean I’m NOT Crazy?! | Mi Negra Linda: Why My Black Is BEAUTIFUL. - May 1, 2013

    […] Top 5 Question Women of Color Get asked out of Ignorance and Disrepect ( […]

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